Had the Sandy Hook massacre not occurred, the children would be 11 years old right now.

Look, this essay is more for me.  I’m not going to reiterate things that have been said on that day, the days immediately following and  the days following every one of our massacres since.   Think about those words “every one of our massacres since”  a uniquely American phase no?

I’m not going to debate the fact that the NRA and the Republican party are complicit in every massacres that occurs.  Such debate would be without value because you will never convince me otherwise.  Never.

But I feel like I would be, I don’t know, unfair to myself if I didn’t put something together to allow me to pour out this emotion, to pour out this anger and resentment.  So if you find this post of mine to be overwrought, or   self indulgent, maybe it is.  My next post will be back to music.  You can wait for that one, I won’t be offended.   I just have to ramble on this.  I just have to puke out some words to the universe.  This wont be the best thing I’ve ever written but it may be the most heartfelt.

As I sit here today I feel like I have to do this so bear  with me.

Because five years ago, 20 children and 6 heroic adults were murdered, slaughtered in their classrooms and the United States of American didn’t do a fucking thing, not even the simplest thing, to make things like this less likely to happen in the future.   Nothing.  We did nothing.

The medical examiner, Dr. Wayne Carver,  who had the job of identifying these victims said that if Americans were able to see these autopsy photos that we would be banning guns the next day.

The President of the NRA, a “man” I will not be mentioning by name was defiant and said that we should be arming teachers.

Five years ago today when news broke that the latest American massacre had taken place in a first graders classroom I was in a meeting.  I am a news junkie so I get alerts all day on my phone.  I saw that another mass shooting had gone on, but that isn’t all that unusual in this country.  But the alerts kept coming and I snuck a look and saw that it was taking place in an elementary school.   My heart sunk.  My son was in Kindergarten here in Syracuse  at the time so that hit me pretty hard.

It was a long meeting so by the time I got out of it, the basic facts of the event has been established.  Multiple fatalities, mostly children and it happened in their first grade classroom.  By the time I got home, the count was established.  20 children, ages 6 and 7.   Each shot multiple times.  The horror is incomprehensible.

I wept to myself in the car that evening.  I was sick to my stomach,  These sweet kids were in one of the places that should have been the safest in the world.  Their classroom.  The fear and horror as the assailant attacked these children.  The despair as they watched their classmates, their friends killed in front of them.

Surely this would be the event that would FINALLY get this stupid country off dime on SOME kind of reasonable gun control legislation but that never happened.  In fact we now have fewer restrictions including the repeal of laws that would make it harder to cross state lines with a gun, laws that prevented the mentally ill from having guns.  My own congressman, an empty suit beholden to the NRA if ever there was one,  voted to repeal some of these common sense laws.

Now it’s been five years and this country has let every one of these angels down.  We told them their deaths would not be in vain and we couldn’t keep that promise.  Not so far anyway.

We weep and mourn for the angels lost in Sandy Hook five years ago but we also can’t forget the 13,000 people killed by guns in this country every year.  That figure even count suicides either.

We hope for common sense to return to this country.

For me, I have to avoid the news on December 14th every year.  It’s too much for me.  I just cant do it.  But as a parent, hell, as a decent human being I can’t ever forget these children and their heroic teachers and do everything I can as a citizen to make something better.

I don’t give a shit about the second amendment.  If we can’t join  the civilized world when it comes to simple, common sense gun legislation I really don’t know why we do anything at all.


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